


All the endings they COULD'VE given them

by graceofhisangel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Canon, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:23:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27648146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graceofhisangel/pseuds/graceofhisangel
Summary: I expected to be let down, I expected nothing but I somehow managed to get even LESS than that. They butchered the ending completely and it only motivated me more to post this. I'm sorry to everyone who is suffering as well, Cas Sam and Dean deserved so much more than they got. MANY people believe we're only mad because of destiel, but that's not even the main part of it. Cas DESERVED to be validated, there was no mention about his coming out, they didn't even give a SHIT, they didn't acknowledge his special moment and they treated him like garbage. Dean didn't deserve to die like that, by getting accidentally shoved into a medal rod?!? I'm sorry but how the hell is that okay, after he defeated CHUCK the ultimate bad guy he just dies to a fucking vampire!?! This shit is just unbelievable. Sam didn't even look HAPPY with his apple life and he always wanted it they didn't even care enough to show his wife's face! And dont get me started on Eileen, excuse me but what about her!?!?! She was never mentioned again, they really just forgot about her. The whole show is a disappointment and just plain heartbreaking. They really did deserve so much more. And I'm sorry for all of them.  I loved this show so much and now its is fading.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	1. A better ending

**Author's Note:**

> I started watching when I was 11 and it helped me so much through all the pain I was going through then, that I'm still going through now. All it did now was hurt me more. As a person who is a part of the lgbtq+ community it killed me that my favorite character was confirmed gay and then got killed off and for what!?!?! For his sacrifice to mean nothing!?!? Dean died a week after Castiel. My hatred for the writers will never go away and I can only hope they never work in the production industry again, for fear that they'll mess up someone else's happiness. 
> 
> They're the reason I wrote this (2 days before the finale, I was that so sure that they'd let us down) i didn't believe in them and i was right not. I made sure they got the ending that was rightfully theirs. And it's only the beginning of many more happy endings. 
> 
> I appreciate if you read my whole rant. Sending love to all of you who are sharing the pain. 💙💙

-Three days later -

Being free from chuck was more than just a huge relief. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off and Dean could finally breathe. But sadly it didn't last. By the third day of his freedom Dean was devastated. Mainly because he wished Cas were there. 

Eileen had come back and Sam had left to see her everyday. Dean was left alone in the bunker. He hung out with them on the first day, but seeing how much fun they were having _together,_ made him feel horrible. He missed Cas so much it hurt to think of him. 

And after everything Cas had said to him he was broken. He didn't get the chance to respond, to tell him he felt the same exact way. 

For years he had kept it in because he was afraid to push Cas away. The only hints of love he ever showed his angel were through the stares and touches they shared. And of course he was an idiot. Cas _loved_ him, and he had been to blind to see it. Dean never figured he did, he was an angel, a celestial being, he wasn’t supposed to have human emotions. Though Cas had never acted much like an angel, he was more human than celestial. And now he was gone and Dean couldn’t tell him he loved him too. 

Sam called to ask him if he wanted to do something fun, like go to the beach with him and Eileen but Dean couldn’t. Sam knew how bad he wanted to go to the beach but it wouldn’t be like he _wanted_ to. Because someone would be missing. 

Long ago Dean had said he wanted to go, but Cas had been a part of that dream, and he couldn’t bear to go without him. He wanted to sit on the beach, toes in the sand, wear matching hawaiian shirts and sip on some fancy umbrella drinks. 

Now, he wants to hold hands with Cas as they walk along the shore, and feel the water hit their toes. He wants to sit on the beach til nightfall and watch the sunset. He wants to rest his head on his shoulder, but most of all he wants him there, he wants to tell him how much he loves him, he wants to hold him..

Dean felt a surge of energy. 

He _had_ to figure out a way to get him back. He had to. He was such an idiot for leaving him to rot in the empty for this long. He could have asked Jack to bring him back, he brought everyone back except him. And now he hated himself for not even asking. 

Dean got out of bed and ran out. He ran down the hall with tears forming in his eyes. He could hardly see where he was going but it didn’t matter, he had already memorized every turn of the bunkers hallways. He ran up the stairs. Once outside Dean cleared his throat, pushing back a sob. His heart was racing and his hands trembled. He closed his eyes and a tear rolled down his cheek. 

“Jack. Jack, I um, I hope you’re listening, I- I- want to ask you something. I know I haven't always been the best with you and I'm sorry. I know I probably don't deserve much from you but, please, please bring him back. I hate that I didn’t ask sooner and I hate that I’m even asking you for something. But I need him. I didn't get to tell him, and I need to. There’s so much I need to say to him. I don’t know how else to get him back. You’re the only one who can, so please I’m _begging_ _you_ bring him back.” 

Dean stood and waited. Tear after tear trailed down his cheek to his chin. He took a shaky breath still waiting for a response. He looked around. Nothing, not even a bug. He looked down at the ground, his heart shattered. This was the only thing he could think of, his last hope of ever getting him back. Now what was he gonna do? 

He raised his head and stared at the horizon, he wouldn’t give up. One way or another he was gonna find a way. He’d get his angel back. 

He sniffled and took a deep breath. He turned and walked back towards the bunker with tears welling up in his eyes. Then he remembered, Nick. He had tried to get lucifer back by opening a portal. Maybe if he found the spell he could find Cas and bring him back. Once again hope coursed through his veins. He had just begun to step down the stairs when he heard the familiar sounds of tires. 

“Sam?” 

He turned ready to tell him his plan when he froze. There a few feet away from him was the car he had once made fun. And next to him, his sweet angel. 

Dean couldn’t remember how to breathe, the tears that had been welling up in his eyes streamed down his face. He staggered backwards, it couldn’t be real. But it was, Cas was here, standing there waiting for him. 

Dean ran to his angel and wrapped his arms around him. 

He could feel Cas’s shaking body, he could feel him breath, at least the tiny breaths he could take. Dean could feel his own body shake. He looked up from Cas's shoulder and held his face. Cas was a mess, he couldn’t stop crying. Dean wiped the tears that streamed down his face but it was impossible to keep his face dry. 

Dean’s heart ached at the sight of Cas crying. He bit his lip, if he kept it in any longer he’d burst. He took a shaky breath. 

“I love you Castiel. So, so, much. I never said it because I thought there was no possible way you could ever feel that way, especially not towards someone like me.”

“Dean-” 

“Just- let me finish- I'm going to say it this time.” 

Cas gave him a teary eyed smile and waited. 

“I thought I wasn’t worthy of your love. And I thought you couldn’t love, but you do. I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner, I’m sorry I let you get away so many times. I- it's hard for me to tell people how I feel but I need you to know I love you, And I’m never letting you go Cas. You- You can’t just say something like that and leave. I’ve been wanting* you for so long, I’ve kept it together, hidden and then you just spring your love for me out of nowhere and leave. And you just can’t. I'm sorry for not looking for you sooner, I hate myself for not looking for you. And I hope you can forgive me Cas. Cause I don't know what I’d do without you anymore. And after everything we’ve been through, you can't tell me you love me and then leave. So don't you dare leave me again.” 

Dean was a sobbing mess when he had finished, He had poured his heart out into those words. He didn’t know when he had stopped looking Cas in the eye but he needed to look him in the eyes, to make him understand that he really was the love of his life. He was afraid to look at Cas in the eyes for fear that he might be heartbroken and angry at him for leaving him alone. But the look in Cas’s eyes was beyond anything he’d ever seen, there was so much love in them. 

They stared into each other's eyes and with a swift move Cas pulled him into a kiss. The feeling of Cas’ lips on his sent a wave of happiness down his spine. If he would've known that kissing Cas would feel this sweet he would’ve done it years ago. 

It was unbelievably sweet, and salty from their tears that got mixed into their lips. Dean gripped tightly onto Cas neck. He felt Cas squeeze him tighter, and only loosen up when they pulled away. Cas let out a laugh better than anything Dean could have imagined and he couldn’t help but laugh too. 

Cas was here, his sweet, sweet angel was back and nothing could take away the joy he was feeling. He wrapped his arms around Cas again and breathed into his old trench coat. Cas’s sweet smell filled his lungs. He opened his eyes and saw Jack. 

He stood a few feet away, smiling at him. 

_Thank you,_ Dean mouthed. 

Jack nodded and disappeared into the air. 

Dean had to come up with a better thank you for Jack. Not only did he bring Cas back, but he brought him back as a human. 

Cas told him and Sam how he woke up in the car a day earlier, with nothing but a phone. He had tried to call both Sam and Dean but neither of them had answered. A pit formed in Dean’s stomach at the thought of Cas calling him and him not answering. Dean had lost track of his phone the last time Sam called him. 

Then Jack had appeared in front of him and told him about everything that had happened. Cas wasn’t happy about him leaving but he understood what he had to do even though he had wanted him to be a kid for a change. After saying goodbye to him, Cas started his drive into town and found his way back home.

Dean had his arm wrapped around Cas’s waist, he hadn’t noticed the whole time Cas had been talking he'd been gripping onto him. Cas smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Dean grinned, he was so happy that they finally had a chance, nothing could stop them anymore. They could spend the rest of their life together. 

  
  


\- Months later - 

They were inseparable. Sam was even beginning to get a little annoyed. Everywhere Cas went Dean followed like a puppy. When Cas went into the bathroom there Dean was standing outside waiting for him. He’d hear the water run and walk a few feet away from the door, pull out his phone and pretend to run into him. Cas would smile and they’d walk together to the Den, they’d spend all day eating popcorn and watching movies. Although sometimes they couldn’t remember what the movie was about. 

They’d spend their days eating, kissing, eating, cuddling, eating and locking themselves in their bedroom. 

They did everything together. Dean was aware that Sam was annoyed, but he didn’t care he was living his life. 

\- A day later - 

  
  


“Come on Cas! Where gonna leave without you if you don't hurry up.” 

“I’m coming.!” 

Cas walked out into the garage with his sunglasses on, a bag in his hands and towles. 

“I had to grab the sunscreen. You don’t want to get sunburned do you?” 

Dean couldn’t help but smile. 

“What?” 

“Nothing” 

He took the bag from Cas and put it in the back. 

They slid into the front. Sam and Eileen were in the back. 

They wouldn't be at the beach till tomorrow and yet they were all dressed in beach attire. They all had matching hawaiian shirts on and shorts. Even Dean who didn’t like shorts was wearing them. The whole way to the beach they sang along to Dean’s music. 

From time to time Dean would look through his rearview mirror and catch a glimpse of Sam and Eileen signing to each other. Everything they said to each other mde Eileen smile and Dean would turn to look at Cas. Cas would tilt his head to the side like he always did and give Dean such a cute smile it melted his heart every time he saw it. 

He was so happy it was hard to believe they had just fought god a few months ago. They faced the biggest monster in the history of monsters and won. From now on all they had to deal with was little things like vampires and werewolves, nothing stood in their way, 

Night fall came and the sound of Sam’s snoring filled the car. Cas stayed up with Dean, He didn’t want Dean to be the only one bearing the weight of not sleeping. It was unnecessary considering Dean had stayed awake for longer than 19 hours before but still it didn’t stop Cas from being sweet. 

Part of him wanted Cas to sleep. He had grown fond of watching Cas sleep. Now that he was human he did a lot of it. He understood why Cas had done it all those times before. 

There was something mesmerizing about someone who was asleep. And watching his sleeping angel was something he had been doing for the past few months since he got him back. He started to do it because he was afraid that while he slept someone or something might take him away again, but slowly it turned into a habit. 

He loved to brush aside his hair and pepper his face with kisses. He didn’t know if Cas could feel him but it wouldn’t stop him even if he did. With one hand on the wheel and another holding Cas’ they drove through the night. 

They arrived at four am to North Carolina. Dean found the nearest motel and pulled up to a parking spot. Sam went to check them in and then they headed to their rooms. Dean plopped down on the bed. Groaning into the sheets. He felt Cas lie down next to him amd he looked up to see him.

Cas yawned. He looked so cute when he was sleepy. 

“Let’s go to bed.” 

“Mmhmm” 

They snuggled up close and wrapped themselves in the sheet. Cas rested his head on Dean's chest. The only light in the room came through the window from a street light outside. But it was enough to make out Cas's face. Dean could hear Cas’s breathing slow down to a quiet snore. He kissed his forehead and wrapped his arm around his waist. He snuggled his face in Cas's hair, his sweet smell and presence was enough to put Dean to sleep. He waited a few minutes waiting for Cas to be fully asleep before he closed his eyes and drifted off. 

The next morning they woke to Sam’s knocking. 

“Hold on” 

Dean hated to disturb Cas and as much as he didn’t want to, he had to get up and answer the door before Sam kicked it in. 

Cas groaned, Dean kissed him. 

“Sorry, sweetheart” 

He got up and answered the door. 

“Morning Dean, we got you guys breakfast from a Diner down the road. “ Sam said with a smile. 

Eileen stood next to him holding a tray of cups. 

_Coffee,_ Dean thought and immediately he felt better. 

Eileen smiled. 

“Of course we got you coffee, I know how grumpy are in the morning” 

Dean felt hand on his lower back. 

“Good morning,” Cas said, rubbing his eye. 

Dean stared fondly at the mess that was Cas’s bed hair. His eyebrows furrowed at the morning light. 

“We got coffee for you too grumpy” 

“I don’t understand how you and Sam can wake up so early,” Cas said, taking his coffee cup from Eileen. 

Sam smiled, “We just like mornings” 

“Yeah, and I was just really excited to see the beach. So here, eat your breakfast so we can get going.” 

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Dean said. 

Cas took the bags with their food inside and they sat in the bed as they ate their breakfast. After breakfast they washed up. As sad as Dean was to see the bed hair disappear he loved Cas’s “combed" hair too. It was still just as messy. 

They hopped into baby and drove down to the beach. It was hard to find a spot but after walking around for about ten minutes they found a spot that had only a few people. They set up their umbrella and a couple of chairs. They didn't have enough space to bring four chairs so they decided to switch from sitting on a towel to sitting on a chair. 

Dean still couldn’t believe that after so long they were finally here. The beach was even better than he’d imagined. Sam was here with Eileen and he had Cas. 

Dean smiled as he watched Cas squeeze too much sunscreen from the bottle and tried to spread it on his face and arms. Dean walked over to him and helped him spread it evenly. Sam and Eileen said they were going to check something out and that they would be back. 

That left him and Cas to do whatever they wanted. 

After letting Cas put some sunscreen on him, Dean took his hand and walked with him towards the ocean. They watched the waves crash into the sand and the tiny little bugs poke out of the ground. They listened to the sounds of the seagulls and crashing waves. With sand in their toes they walked into the water to wash it away. 

Dean felt so peaceful, and after everything he and Cas had been through it felt right. All those years of secretly loving each other but never saying anything, was enough to bring tears to Dean’s eyes. 

Dean looked at Cas and saw he too had tears welling up in his eyes. He felt Cas squeeze his hand tightly and he squeezed back just as hard. 

They walked till they reached the pillars of a dock and stopped right underneath it.

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’s waist and held him close. He looked into those beautiful blue eyes that he always got lost in and pulled Cas closer, pressing their foreheads together. 

He closed his eyes and for a minute the whole world was silent. Not even the waves could disturb their love. Dean brough their lips together for a kiss. He put everything he was feeling into that kiss and it was a hundred times better than any of the kisses they had shared through the months. 

“I love you so damn, much Cas” 

“Me too.” 

Cas wrapped his arm around Dean’s neck and their lips crashed into each other again. 

When they finally walked back to their spot Sam and Eileen were waiting for them. In their hands were the fancy umbrella drinks Dean had wanted. They each took one and drank it as they watched the ocean. 

When the sun began to set Sam took Eileen on a walk along the shore. Cas got up and stuck his hand out. Dean smiled and put his beer down. 

They walked to the shore again and sat in the sand. Dean rested his head on Cas' shoulder. They held hands and watched the sun set over the ocean. 

\- END -


	2. Second Ending //part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to add the tags here because chapters dont have these individually and these are different stories  
> -Major Character death  
> \- blood, gore 
> 
> This is the actual summary:  
> What happened after Cas got taken away, and Jack left to rule the world with Amara? This ending spilt into 3 parts told by the point of view of the boys tells us what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder that none of these stories are connected unless I say they are. Theses are all the different endings that I wrote which I know would be better than the one we got, under one title for easier reading and uploading. 
> 
> E: This Ending is my attempt at fixing the last episode, I kept the same story line but changed it up a bit because what we got was a total joke
> 
> Its kinda rough so be careful when reading, and please stop if it's too much to handle.

**DEAN**

The last thing Dean remembered was the sounds of tearing flesh, warm blood running down his neck and chest and Sam yelling his name before everything went black. 

He woke up in a field, gasping for air. When his eyes adjusted to the bright light of the sun above, he sat up and looked around. To his right there was nothing but fields of tall grass. He stood and looked to his left, grass and an open road were all he could see for miles. He could see nothing but miles of yellow that reached to his chest. 

_Where the hell am I?_ Dean’s heart didn’t slow down not even when he reached the road after following a small path. He saw his car. Not even she was enough to comfort him. He slipped inside and the first thing he did was search for his phone. He found it under the seat and the first thing he saw was _no signal._

He sat in his car for what felt like hours re-reading the same thing over and over. He didn't know what was going on, he didn't know what happened to his brother. He tried to think back, to remember the last few days and if not that then a few hours. Anything to figure out how he ended up in this field. 

He heard a loud sound outside the car to his right, and just like that he was thrown back into yesterday.

Sam had gotten a call a few hours back about families that were being slaughtered and kids that were being abducted. And now they were in the car racing down the road to Ohio. 

It had been a month since they had defeated Chuck. Since Jack had taken the role of God and Amara had gone with him. They were both copartners in taking care of the world now. Everyone was back, all except one. Dean hated that he hadn’t asked Jack to bring Cas back right that minute when he had brought everybody else back. It was because he was afraid, of what, he wasn’t sure.

Now that Cas had made it clear he felt the same thing as Dean he was afraid to say it back. He didn't want to hurt him, saying those words made it all too real. He didn't like to say those words because it made everything too difficult. He and Cas could finally be together but what if Dean changed, what if one day he did something unforgivable, Cas would leave him like he did before and this time there was the possibility that he wouldn't come back. And then he would be left heartbroken. Not to mention Cas, he’d hate himself even more for hurting him, because that would be the last thing he’d ever want to do again.

If he would have said it way back then when he didn’t know Chuck was the real enemy. It wouldn’t have been real and he would've probably driven Cas away. Because then it meant that Chuck had written it, that his attraction, this love he felt for him was just a cruel joke on him. He would have been a complete asshole to Cas, and it wouldn’t even have been his fault. 

The moment of their fight and the moment he got down on his knees to apologize to him, replayed in his mind. He was going to tell him there when he saw him by that tree, but Cas hadn't given him the chance. And then he didn't have the courage to do it again, especially with everything that had been going on. But now Chuck was gone, Billy was gone, anyone who could ever hurt them the worst was gone, they had nothing to worry about. 

But Cas was gone too. 

That very night after Sam had left to see Eileen Dean ran outside and began to pray to Jack. He prayed till he was hoarse and his tears were long past dry. But Jack didn’t answer, there was no indication that he had even heard Dean. He figured he was busy doing something godly and didn't have time to answer his prayers at the moment. So every night for the past month he would go outside and pray, he’d cry till he couldn’t anymore. 

And when he told Sam about what happened in the room between them, he broke even more. 

He didn't think it was possible for Cas to love him, of even feeling love in that way, and when he told him he did, all of Dean’s doubts had been erased. He didn’t get the chance to tell him he felt the same.

It had all gone too fast and too many emotions were erupting within him. He was angry at Cas for even taking such a stupid deal. He was angry at him for never telling him about it, why hadn't he ever told him? They were supposed to tell each other whenever one of them had been an idiot. And he was angry at him for leaving him, for confessing his love and leaving him to deal with the pain. He had been so stupid to not ask for him when he had the chance, and now that he did want him, _needed_ him back he couldn’t have him. 

He had been living in his room the whole month. Only coming out to use the restroom, he couldn't even think to eat because he would immediately want to throw up. Eileen tried to cheer him up but nothing would work. Not even his dog, Miracle had any effect on him. 

After Jack disappeared and they were headed back home Miracle followed them to the car and hopped right in when Sam opened the door. They had brought him home seeming as how he didn't have an owner. 

Miracle lay on his bed all day, everyday. Except for when Sam took him out to do his business. Sam tried to get him to leave the bunker and go somewhere with him and Eileen to clear his head but Dean didn’t have it in him too. It wasn’t until Sam had come to his room to tell him about the case he had found that he felt something other than sadness. 

“I’m going to tell some other hunter to take care of it. You shouldn’t be alone right now.” Sam said. He got up from the bed and kicked a bottle of whiskey out of his way as he walked to the door. 

“No. We should take care of it.” Dean mumbled. 

Sam turned with his eyebrows raised. “Are you sure, Dean? I don't want you to push yourself too much.” 

“Yeah, I just need a few hours to sober up. We can go in the morning.” 

“Okay. I'll go pack a bag and let Eileen known.” 

Dean didn't honestly know why he had said he wanted to go hunting. He couldn’t bring himself to eat a full plate of food, much less be able to drive his car and go on a hunt. But for some reason, the chance to kill something sounded like a grand idea. 

He turned his light off and felt Miracle turn a few times and then plop down on the bed. He fell asleep in minutes. By the next morning another family had been murdered and another kid was kidnapped. They said goodbye to Eileen and Miracle, peeled out of the garage and didn't stop till they reached Ohio. 

They booked their room in the first vacant motel they drove by. And after dropping off a few of their things they headed to the crime scene. The first thing they learned about were the masks. 

One of the neighbors had seen a group of people leave the house with a boy, and they were all wearing the most disturbing masks he had ever seen. Instinctively Sam looked over at Dean. An understanding passed between them. After examining the house for any other hints they walked back to their car. Dean took out his fathers old hunting journal and flipped through the pages until he found what he was looking for. 

“Here.” Dean said flipping the book so his brother could see. “It's an old pack. Remember how Dad told us about the old group of Vampires that he and some other hunters wiped out in 88’.”

“Yeah. And how they used the faces of the kids they took as masks.” Sam grimaced. 

Dean nodded. “I'm thinking they didn't get them all. And now the group has grown again.” 

“How are we supposed to take a whole pack down Dean?” 

“You heard what the man said he saw four. I’m thinking they’ve got one or two more back at their lair keeping guard of the kids.” Dean let out a shaky breath. He knew the last thing they were doing was keeping guard of the kids, they were cutting their faces off.

It made Dean sick, but most of all hungry for blood. He hadn’t killed anything in months and this sadness and anger he was feeling was burning hotter by the minute. Here was his chance to let it out and in the best way possible too, chopping the heads off of some sick sons of bitches. 

“We’ve taken down more before Sam. And we need to do this, we have to help those kids. We gotta stop these fuckers once and for all.” 

Sam nodded. It was obvious that the thought of those kids screaming, begging for help as their faces were cut off was making him sick, it was written all over his face. 

According to their dads journal the pack hunted within 10 miles of their lair. So they looked at a map of the town and marked down all the palaces that had been attacked. Smack in the middle was an old abandoned farm. Dean grinned and looked at Sam he nodded. 

After gathering the dead man's blood they drove to the farm and waited. They watched as one of them walked out of the barn. He was stumbling around so it was more than easy to nab him. They dragged him away far enough so his screams couldn’t be heard. 

Dean tied him against a tree. Sam took his knife dipped in blood and plunged it deep into its chest. The monster groaned and trembled. 

“How many of you bloodthirsty leeches are in there?” Dean asked. When he didn't answer Sam took it as his cue to dip the knife into the jar of blood again. He handed it to Dean. “Answer me.” 

The vampire stared at them, hated in his eyes. Dean placed the knife against his chest and sliced causing him to hiss. 

He bobbed his head, “You’re going to kill me either way, so what's the point.” 

“THE POINT is that if you don’t, I’m gonna take this knife, and slice your head off nice and slow. You're gonna feel every tear of muscle and skin. You're going to feel every slice and cut I make. Now, you tell me and I’ll make it quick. Your choice.” 

He grinned an evil grin and even though he tried Dean could see the fear in its eyes. But there was something else, something Dean couldn’t quite tell what. 

He didn't care. He cut again and again making the monster groan and scream. And finally after the hundreds of cuts he had taken he said, “Stop, please. I'll tell you, just stop.” 

Dean grinned. 

“There’s 10 of us, two guarding the kids and the rest are sleeping” 

“You see, that wasn't so hard.'' The look was back, that same one from earlier and it made Dean uncomfortable. Deciding he no longer wanted to see this disgusting piece of crap anymore he reached for his machete. 

“Well a deal’s a deal.” he said, before swinging and making his head roll. He wiped the blood off the side of his face and turned to look at Sam, “lets go.” 

They crept around the barn listening for any movement from inside, when they heard none they slowly opened the side door and walked inside. 

It was dark and cold and the smell of rotting flesh was enough to make Dean gag, but he didn’t, he couldn’t risk any sounds. The last thing he wanted was nine vampires coming at him all at once. He turned to look at Sam and he nodded. He disappeared into the shadows. 

Dean crept to the left of the barn he made sure not to step into any of the light coming through the plank of woods. He saw dark figures in the far corner. The vamp was right, two were guarding the kids. He approached silently and gripped onto his machete tightly. He swung at the first and then the next. 

Dean hardly broke a sweat. He placed his machete into its sheath. He leaned down and as quiet as he could he whispered, “Hey, I'm here to take you guys home.” He watched as the figures trembled in the corner. But his gut told him something wasn’t right. They weren't turning to look at him and the sounds that were coming from them didn’t sound like cries they sounded like- like laughter. _Very_ quiet laughter. 

The figures rose and soon they were as tall as Dean. _Crap,_ he backed away frantically reaching for his machete when he tripped on something. He looked at his feet and saw an arm, then two and three. He crawled back in fear. 

To his side was a pile of bodies, _kids_ bodies. He gasped, the smell of rotting meat filled his lungs. Through the midst of all the laughter he heard a shout, “DEAN!” 

He looked behind him, Sam was running towards him with a look of horror in his face. He stuck his hand out and Dean took it. He stood up, his legs trembling. All around them all they could hear was laughter. 

“It's a DAMN TRAP!” Dean shouted over the laughter. Sam looked like he was moments away from passing out. Dean could see the fear and shock in his little brothers face. He couldn't let him be afraid so he but on a brave face. He grinned, as he tried to control his trembling hands. His heart was about to burst out of his chest but he tried to keep his smile from fading. Sam pulled out the best tight smile he could muster. 

Dean nodded and Sam understood, they held their machetes up high and charged. 

Dean couldn't keep track of how many headless bodies hit the floor. Blood stung his eyes. He kept slicing, swinging all he knew was survival. Fear and anger fueled him, gave him the strength he needed to keep going. In an instant the bloodshed stopped, he was panting and the only thing he could taste was blood. He didn't think anything louder than his heart could exist but he was wrong. He heard Sam scream and he turned. It was just a second, he turned for just a second but it was enough. 

Time seemed to slow as he watched vampires all around his brother sink their nails into his arms and shoulders. His heart sank, and he tried to run, to help his brother but he couldn’t. He felt them before he even saw them. It seemed like hundreds of them had jumped down from above him. 

He managed to free his arm and swing but there were too many, their nails dug deep in his skin holding him tight and pushing him down. He heard Sam yell his name as he crashed hard onto the floor. He could hear them tearing through his flesh, ripping into him. He could feel himself scream to the top of his lungs but all he heard was the pounding of his heart. His screams turn to gasps as his mouth filled with blood. 

He felt burning pain run throughout his body. And then, nothing.

  
  
Dean gasped and he was back in his car. He was gripping the wheel of his car so hard his knuckles turned white. Tears welled up in his eyes. He was dead. The huge pack of vampires ripped out his throat and insides. He instinctively touched his neck and stomach, he was fine. Not even a scratch. 

He choked back a sob and dug his nails into his skull. _Sam,_ what about Sam. Where was he? Was he dead? There was no way he’d survived. Why wasn't Dean with him? Where the _HELL_ was his brother?!?!?!?! Again Dean felt like he couldn't breathe like all the air was being sucked out of his lungs. He opened the door of his car and fell on the hard hot floor. 

He pressed his head against the cement. And gasped rapidly, finally feeling air in his lungs. He slowed his breathing and lay on the floor on his back. He shut his eyes and just breathed. When he was sure his panic attack was over he opened his eyes. His eyebrows furrowed. _What the hell?_

He got up and soothed his hands on his jacket. He was still in a field but it was different, the tall grass was gone and now trees lined the horizon. He looked father into the distance and he saw a barn. 

He jumped into his car and drove down the road toward it. As he got closer he realized he’d seen this barn before. Was it the one he’d died in? No, this one was much older. He stopped the car right in front of the doors. 

He sat inside Baby for a second, readying himself for whatever was waiting for him inside. He stepped out and approached the doors. He reached forward and pushed the doors open. As soon as the doors opened the memories flooded back. 

He looked up at the ceiling and there they were, hundreds of different sigils he and Bobby had painted all over the inside. He looked up at the lights hanging above his heads, the bulbs were all shattered like he expected them too. It was dark inside and he couldn’t see anything, but he could feel him. 

His voice trembled when he said, “Cas?” 

Dean felt him there, at the other side of the barn but even still he was afraid that he was just imagining him because of how bad he had been wanting him. He took another step forward. And asked again,”Cas?” 

This time he couldn't keep his lips from trembling. His eyes were begging to fill with tears. He was beginning to think it really was just his imagination, his mind playing tricks on him when he heard him. 

“Hello, Dean” He walked out of the shadows, his trencoat swaying at his sides. His eyes were red from crying and he was visibly shaking. Dean’ breath caught and for a moment he stood in fear that it -wasn't- real. But then he ran, he ran to his angel and wrapped his arms tightly around him. He was sure he was squeezing the life out of him but Dean didn't care. He wanted to stay like this for as long as he could. He didn't want to ever let him go again. A broken laugh escaped him. Cas laughed in return and squeezed him just as tight. 

“I love you too.” 

Dean pulled back enough to see his angel's face. He cupped his jaw and looked into those blue blue eyes. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not saying it sooner, I'm sorry for letting you go without telling you. I'm sorry I left you for so long. I prayed to Jack every night for you but he never answered. I couldn’t function without you, I can't be without you. I need you so, so much, you are everything to me. I’m so sorry I didn't tell you sooner. God, I love you so damn much Castiel.” 

Cas’s eyes weld up with tears. He pulled Dean closed by the waist and crashed their trembling lips together. Dean was never good with words, so he put everything into that kiss. He wanted to -make- Cas understand how much he meant those words. Their kiss was deep and long, they were breathless when they pulled away. They kissed again, tears and all and held each other like their life depended on it. 

All the fear he was feeling before was melted away while he was in Cas’s arms. Being there with him, finally being able to tell him he meant the world to him was the best thing he could think off. 

Dean took Castiel's hand and walked to their car together. They watched through the rearview mirror as the barn where everything had begun disappeared in the distance. 

Dean didn't know where they were going, he just knew he’d know when they got there. Time in heaven seemed to work differently. Cas told him about Sam. 

Dean's heart began to race when he heard his brother's name, anxious to know what had happened to him. Cas told him how he’d managed to save his little brother. He also told him why he couldn't bring him back and although Dean felt a bit of anger, he understood. 

He knew part of the reason the world had been so messed up before was because people kept coming back, mostly him and Sam, they kept messing with the world. Not that, that was the big part, it was Chuck after all but if they wanted any chance of the world being better they had to change, they had to do things differently now. Besides, Dean knew his brother would join them when the time came. 

He only hoped his brother would actually be okay. He didn't want him sitting around crying for him. He didn't want Sam's whole life to waist away to nothing. He wanted him to be happy, he knew it would hurt but eventually he'd be happy. It would brake his heart if his brother never moved on. He only wished he'd gotten to say goodbye to Sam to Eileen to Miracle. To his whole family, he wanted all the best in the world for them. 

They drove down the old dirt road until he saw another building approaching. He gasped when he read the sign above. They climbed out of the car and walked to the front. Cas took his hand and squeezed it. Immediately he felt at home when he smelled old spice and whiskey. He saw everyone he'd ever loved inside. 

Charlie was laughing alongside Ash. Jo was sitting back enjoying a beer with Ellen, and Bobby was bent down ruffling the hair of a white furred dog. Dean smiled when he saw Miracle sitting beside Bobby. His eyes filled with tears as he watched the smiles on his family's faces. Charlie turned and when she saw him an even bigger smile spread across face. 

“Dean!” she got up and ran to him faster than he'd ever seen her run. He squeezed her tight and laughed. He felt the rest of his family embrace him. 

When he could finally breathe again. His family moved on to Cas. They all took turns to hug him, probably because they didn't want to let all the air out of him. His heart hummed at the sight of Cas's teary smile, because this time it _really_ was a happy one. 

Jo handed him a beer and they lead him to a table. Were they sat and talked about everything that had happened since they had all seen each other. He smiled as he patted his dogs head and began to tell them his story. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any emotional distress I may have caused. I love you all and I hope to be able to upload the second part tomorrow if everything goes right.
> 
> Thank you. -K


	3. Second Ending Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's side of the story. 
> 
> And same tags as before.

**SAM**

When Dean finally told him what happened between him and Cas in the room, he understood. 

He knew why Dean was taking it even worse than him. Cas had told him he loved him after so many years of being afraid to speak up to tell Dean he loved him he finally did it. Only to get taken away right after. It pained Sam to see his brother so broken. He knew Dean loved him too. Dean never said it and Sam understood why, whenever they got close to someone they tended to lose them, no one understood that more than him. Anytime he'd ever gotten close with anyone they went away. They either died or Sam would leave them, because he couldn't take it when they got hurt. 

His brother had been in love with their best friend for years, it was obvious with how he looked at him, how they talked to each other, especially when they bikered. 

The amount of times Sam caught them staring at each other for longer than it was necessary as immense. It was so damn obvious they both felt something for each other, Sam had half the mind to just push them together and make them kiss. But he never did because he knew the fear Dean felt, and he knew Dean had to do it on his own when he was ready. 

But now he’d never get the chance. Sam prayed to Jack and begged him to bring back Cas, he wanted them both to come back to be a family again, but he knew Jack couldn't, so he asked for Cas every night since Jack had left. He thought about him more than he ever had. Sam loved Cas but it was nothing compared to how much Dean did. 

Everytime Sam went into Deans room he tried as hard as he could to not cry in front of his brother. The last thing Dean needed was to see him cry. Instead he’d try to convince him to go out for a drive. Or a walk. For him and Elileen to take him somewhere to clear his head but Dean always refused. 

Sam would leave his room and walk straight to Cas’s. He’d sit on his bed and look at the things on his nightstand. Cas hardly stayed in his room and he didn't really have anything in his room except for a picture of all of them and a cassette tape Dean had given him a long time ago. 

When Dean had told him about the tape he’d given Cas, Sam thought nothing could be more obvious, but sadly Cas was just as dumb as his brother. 

Sam smiled as he looked at the picture of him Dean, Jack and Cas. 

Eileen would find her way to Castiel's old room and knock on the door before coming. She’d see he was crying and come over to sit beside him. She’d hold him as he cried. 

When he found Eileen's phone on the floor a part of him died instantly, he knew she was gone. And again the recurring fear of getting close to someone came over him. It was why he hadn't allow himself to think of her, because he knew if he even thought of her name he’d become a broken mess. He loved her. She was the single most important person to him besides his family. She was his better part, and without her he didn't feel complete anymore. She _was_ his family. 

The minute Jack brought everyone back a sliver of hope grew within him. He wanted nothing more than to drive all the way to her home where she was last at. 

He wanted to hold her tight and never let go. But he couldn't leave his brother in his weakest moment. That same day they had brought Miracle home so it wasn't as bad when he left at night to see her. He knew someone would be there to watch over him while he left to find his other half. 

The moment Sam saw her standing in the doorstep he ran to her. She clinged onto him and asked what was going on. He couldn’t answer because of all the joy he was feeling. And after a while of holding each other and kissing he was able to tell her. It wasn't until he was telling her about Cas that he actually began to tear up. He knew how much Dean loved him and now that he was gone he was feeling terrible. 

He thought of the own way he was feeling when he found her phone on the sidewalk, that was exactly how Dean was feeling, like he could breathe like all he wanted to do was fall on the floor and cry. Instinctively he squeezed her hand tight as a reminder that she was there. 

They drove back to the bunker and walked to Dean's room. They found him in his room exactly where Sam had left him, except there were bottles of beer on the floor now. The look in his brother's eyes was enough to make him want to cry. He spent the rest of the night in Dean’s room trying to comfort him. There was nothing Sam could say to make him feel better but he knew just being there for his brother was enough for now.

It was there when Dean finally decided to tell Sam about the deal Cas had made a year ago. And how Cas had sacrificed himself to save Dean. He'd told him how much Dean had changed him how much he cared about him and everything else in his life and finally how much he loved him. The empty had taken Cas before Dean got the chance to answer. 

After that night Dean stopped coming out of his room. 

He wouldn't eat because he felt sick right after. He wouldn't talk anymore, just nod and shake his head. It hurt Sam to see his brother in so much pain. He knew no matter what he did it wouldn't help him. 

Dean watched the love of his life die and that was something you couldn’t _ever_ get over. It was something that changed you forever and Sam was afraid of what it was doing to Dean. He didn't think he’d ever be okay again, he didn't think he'd ever stop drinking or come out of his room. 

That's why when Dean said he wanted to go hunting it shocked Sam to his core. 

He was worried about him, and he knew he'd have to be extra careful with him. But if he wanted to hunt then he'd help him with that. 

Maybe he really did just need to work, hunting was always how Sam kept his head clear. So he texted Eileen, who was on her way back home from a hut and told her about Dean. She said it was a good thing that he wanted to do something other than stay in his room, of course she told Sam to keep an extra eye on him and Sam said he would. 

She got in the next day and promised to keep an eye on Miracle while they were away. Sam never took his eyes off his brother and made sure to do his best to keep him leveled. When they were looking into the history of the monsters Dean seemed to be back to his usual self. It made Sam a little less anxious even though he knew it was all an act, a way to push back his grief. 

That's when he allowed himself to concentrate on the case because at least he knew now that Dean was invested, and his mind wasnt running around wild with loss. He was feeling better about the case but it didn't last. 

The minute Sam saw the vamp, give Dean an evil grin he knew something was off. He brushed it off as just feeling sick to his stomach because of them. 

These vampires were different than most. Their nails were distinctly longer and they apparently didn't think it was enough to rip throats out they also had to slaughter the people they killed by ripping them to shreds. And to make it even worse they cut the faces off of the kids they took and used them as masks. He was only slightly relieved when Dean chopped the sick bastard's head off. 

But something still bothered him. As they were walking around the barn the feeling only grew, he wanted to tell Dean but he didn't want to risk being heard. They couldn’t risk the lives of the kids inside so he swallowed the feeling and followed Dean inside. 

Once they were in they split up to look for the kids. The smell was intoxicating, tears were forming in his eyes because of how bad the smell was, apart from fear that the kids were already dead. He wiped his eyes quickly and continued to walk in the shadows. He couldn't see Dean but he knew his brother was only a few feet in front of him on the opposite side of the barn. 

From the corner of his eyes he saw movement in the darkest corner of the barn.  He held his machete close to his chest ready to strike at anything that came out of the dark. 

The figures were huddled close together in the corner, _kids_. He hadn't realized how fast his heart had been beating until a small moment of relief washed over him. He had found the kids, now all he had to do was get them out. He considered calling out to his brother but didn’t. Instead he crouched down and reached forward. 

He stopped himself. 

Where were the two vampires who were supposed to guard the kids? And why hadn't he seen the other sleeping vampires? 

He saw the evil grin on the vampire flash across his head. Too late he started to piece everything together. It had lied, it had led them right into a trap. He stepped back from the kids and looked to his left. He heard a thump and saw his brother crawling backward into the light. He ran to him, shouting his name. 

He heard hisses and laughs from behind him as he ran towards Dean and helped him up. 

“It's a DAMP TRAP!” Dean shouted, over the laughter. 

Sam tried his beast to control his fear, his heart threatening to come up his throat. He was so afraid, how could he have let them walk into a trap?! 

He could feel his hands and legs shake, he turned to look at his brother. He had a brave grin on his face and even thought he was trying Sam could see through it. He could see his brother's legs sake with fear. 

Sam knew he couldn't hide his own fear no matter how hard he tried, yet he smiled. Dean nodded and Sam knew what to do. They’d fight till their last breath. He turned towards the darkness and charged. Machete raised high. 

Besides the laughter the only sounds he could hear was his own heavy breathing. He could hardly hear Dean over the sounds of the slicing. 

Blood and heads flew everywhere and he could begin to feel the fear and tiredness taking over. He knew he wouldn’t last for much longer. He couldn't hear Dean anymore, not even a breath so he turned to look for him. 

It was a mistake, it took less than a second for the vampires to dig their nails into his arms. He screamed and staggered back, finally being able to see his brother standing over more than a dozen headless bodies. 

For a second Sam thought maybe they had a chance but that was before he saw them in the loft above them. Nearly two dozen more hidden in the shadows ready to pounce.  They jumped down from above landing all around Dean and lunged. Dean swung and managed to send a head rolling, but there were too many and they were too strong. He shouted his brother's name as Dean went down, Sam watched as red flooded his view. He could hear his brother's screams, a pit erupted in his stomach, his own vision was going blurry with all the tears and blood in his eyes. He felt hands pull him down to the ground. He couldn’t move, he couldn't breathe. His frantic heart drowned out the sounds of all the tearing and hissing. 

He was sure he was about to die but then he heard it. The voice he never thought he would hear again. 

“Shut your eyes!” and he did. 

He heard nothing. No more tearing no more hissing no more whimpering. He sat up, tears rolling down his face.

Sam could see him in his old trench coat, his blurry silhouette standing over a lifeless body on the floor. 

A broken, “Dean'' escaped his lips. He crawled over to his brother and through the tears he could see he was untouched. No blood, no tears, no bites. He just lay there peacefully. Tears streamed down Sam’s face. He reached for his brother's shoulder and shook him. 

“DEAN!” but Dean didn’t stir. 

Sam sobbed silently, shaking his head. It was so silent except for the sound of his own cries that he nearly forgot the angel that was standing beside him. 

“Cas. Please, you gotta bring him back.” 

He looked up at Castiel's face and though he couldn't see him clearly he knew he was crying too. 

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Sam. I tried to get here sooner, I did. I knew something was wrong, I could feel it.” He stopped himself.

With a trembling voice Cas continued. “I cannot bring him back Sam. It was bad enough I saved you, but resurrection is impossible. It has been decided that no one else shall come back, that there would be no more exceptions. Not even for-” he didn't continue, Sam could hear him trying to hold back a sob. 

“There’s gotta be something you can do. Please.” 

Cas took a while to answer but eventually he said, “I can watch over him. He will be okay Sam. He will have everything he needs in Heaven. And you _will_ meet again.” 

Sam didn't want to accept. He didn't want to say goodbye, but he knew no matter what he tried he wouldn't be able to bring his brother back. 

If it wasnt allowed anymore, he could spend a hundred years trying but it would never work. He was silent for a long time before finally reluctantly nodding. 

He spoke, quieter than a whisper and said, “I’ll keep fighting Dean I promise. I’ll keep it going and I’ll make you proud. You don’t need to worry anymore big brother.” He stared at Dean with a broken smile on his face. He wiped his tears and looked up at Cas. 

“Thank you.” Cas smiled and knelt down beside Dean. 

He stared at him with some much love in his eyes, it was unbelievable that Dean had been so oblivious. Maybe now that Dean was in Heaven he could finally stop being an idiot and tell Cas how much he loved him. And he couldn’t wait to hear all about it when they met again. 

His lips quivered. “Goodbye, Dean. I’ll see you.” 

Castiel cupped the right side Dean's face and in a flash of white light they were both gone. Sam was left alone in the cold dark barn. 

That night on his drive back home he was weaker than he’d ever felt. He knew Dean would be okay, but it still hurt. The first thing he did when he got back home was hug Eileen. She squeezed him tight and told him she loved him. When he saw Miracle he couldn't hold back his sobbs anmore and finally broke down. He didn't tell Eileen everything that happened that same night because he couldn't bring himself too. 

But she never pressured him, she never forced him to say or do something he wasn't ready to do. She spent the next few days right by his side, she helped him through everything. 

The whole week felt like a blur. He didn’t know how to deal with the pain of losing his brother. He was never one to drink his feeling away so he didn't know what to do. He knew he had to tell their family about Dean but it was too soon, he wouldn’t be able to look them in the face and tell them he was gone for good this time. 

Eileen took care of telling everyone for him. She was better at holding back when she told Jody and the girls. 

On the day of Dean's funeral all of their family gathered at the bunker. Sam didn't want to cry anymore. He wanted to celebrate his brother's life, and that’s what he did. 

There was no body to bury or to burn so instead they walked the path around the back of the bunker to a tree.

It was the one he and Dean had found the very first week they started to stay here. Dean had said it was a nice for a place to grow and had sat underneath its shade and stared at the view of the whole town. 

Now, they all stood underneath it and each placed something of his. They took turns sharing one of their favorite moments with Dean and telling stories of his awesome hunting skills. He was glad to be surrounded by his family. The rest of the day they drank and continued to share stories. 

Garth told them all abou the first time he had met Dean. Their very first hunt was Sam's wedding. Sam laughed and shook his head he remembered Becky and the love potion she'd given him. 

Garth told them how Dean had seemed rough on all edges but he knew he was a softy. 

Donna told them about how she had almost thrown their case when she first met them. They all laughed as Sam told them about the hair net he wore. And how mad he had gotten when he got the cafeteria job with _rabbit_ food. 

Jody was next to share her stories followed by Bobby and Charlie who thanked him for saving them again. 

Sam was the last to speak. He wasn just saying goodbye to Dean he was saying goodbye to Cas and Jack too. And although not all of them had met Cas and Jack they knew how important they were. 

Becasue without them they wouldn't be here anymore. 

After Sam was done Claire spoke too, she told them about Cas and Dean and everyway they had made her smile. She told them she still had the grumpy cat Cas had given her as a present. 

Dean, Cas and Jack were always going to live in his heart. Dean was always going to live on in everyone's heart, his legacy would keep going and Sam was going to make sure of it. His big brother was a hero, and he was in all of them. He knew the stories of Dean Winchester would live on forever and move others to do good, to keep fighting and to be heroes. 

Sam kept training new hunters. It was hard at first but with help from Claire, Kaia, Alex and Patience they were doing good. The bunker had become a home to all. Whether hunters needed somewhere to crash or it was people they were helping, it was never quiet. 

* * *

They had just come back from a hunt and they were all exhausted. Jody and Donna had caught wind of a case that involved a pack of werewolves, so they had called Sam and Eileen for back up. 

It had been two years since Dean had died and Sam was still afraid. Whenever a hunt involving a pack came up he made sure that he was there to help. He was afraid of the same thing repeating itself so he made sure everyone knew they had to have more than two people there. It didn’t matter how good the hunters were they had to have others too. It was better to be safe than sorry. 

By the time Sam had driven up Soux falls with Eileen, Jody and Donna had already found the lair. They went in ready for anything and successfully save the girls the pack had taken for food. It turned out that there were more than they had expected but they managed to win. Sam was always still so paranoid whenever pack hunts came up, but everyone listened to him and never went in without others there to help. 

They were all ready to head to bed when they were greeted by Alex and Claire at the bottom of the stairs. 

“So how’d the hunt go?” Alex asked. 

“It went really well, we got the girls out safe.” Jody answered as she hugged them.

Donna waked over and hugged them too, “She was the real badass this time” she said, nodding at Jody. 

“Like always.” Claire added, “So, we know you’re all probably tired but we made dinner so you guys can go wash up and then come into the library to eat.” 

They all smiled and hummed at the idea. After everyone had taken a very well deserved shower they walked to the library to sit and eat. Patience and Kaia were busy setting the tables while Alex and Claire brought the food. When it was time to eat they all filled their plates and ate. 

Usually when they hunted together they would all spend the night after the hunt together in the bunker. They had gotten closer like that and it only made Sam happier. It had become a tradition to have a big family dinner at the end of a long hunt. 

It usually meant others would stop by to be in on the tradition. Charlie usually came by when she wasn’t too busy hunting with her girlfriend and Bobby came around when he was in the area. Garth showed up sometimes too when he had the time. Sam loved those days when his family was around, it helped him get through the days when he found himself missing his brother. 

* * *

Sam walked past a picture on the library table. He smiled when he saw the smiling faces of his wife and son. 

Bobby jr. was three now and he was still a handful. He looked at the pictures beside it, one was Jody and Donna and their girls. The other was Garth, Beth and their kids. He heard Claire and Kaia come into the room and looked up. 

“Hey Sam.”

“Hey, what are you guys up too today? Any cases?” 

“No. Just hanging out while we wait for Donna. We were actually thinking of going out today.” 

“That's good.” Sam said with a smile. 

“Sam, I was wondering if me and Claire could take Miracle out for today.” Kaia asked.

“Of course. I think he could use some fresh air, he's been looking pretty tired lately, but I think it's because he’s an old grump.”

Claire laughed, “Do you and Eileen need anything? We could grab it while we’re out.” 

“I don't think so, but if we do I'll text you. You girls be careful.” 

“Yes dad.” Claire said with a smile. She wrapped an arm around Kaia and they walked towards the hall. 

Sam walked to the kitchen to find Eileen. She was taking out some juice from the fridge with Bobby in her arms. He gave her a quick peck in the cheek and took him from her. He lifted him up high and smiled when his son laughed. 

He reminded him so much of his brother sometimes. He had his same green eyes and laugh. It was partially the reason he named him Robert Dean. And the name only fit more when he pouted, it was the same exact one his brother made when he was grumpy. They never called him Robert though, they always called him Bobby just like Sam’s second father. 

Eileen handed Bobby his bottle of apple juice. “He’s been smiling all morning,” she said. 

It was hard with Bobby in his hands but he signed “It’s because he has the best mom ever.” 

He leaned down and kissed his beautiful wife. She wrapped her arm around him and together they walked to the Dean Cave. 

It was where they all spent most of their time together. At first he was very reserved about anything that had belonged to his brother, he wouldn let anyone into this room except for Miracle and Eileen. But then he realised his brother had made the room to have fun with his family, it was meant to be shared.

Just like Dean’s bedroom. It had been six years since Dean had died and he still had his brother's room. He had put away most of his things because it had become too painful for him to see them, but most of his things were still out. It didn't make him sad anymore when he walked in there. He went in sometimes when he was feeling distant from his brother but other than that he didn't go in. He had made peace with his brother being gone and it wasn’t like he didn't know he was up in heaven watching over him. 

He knew he was and he also knew Cas was up there watching over him. Sam thought about Cas a lot too. His room was also untouched, he left everything that was in there alone. He went into his room whenever he wanted to talk to him. He also prayed every night to him and Jack. And even though they never answered he knew they were listening. 

Every night he'd thank them for his family. He'd thank them for Eileen and Bobby. For all his girls, for all the hunters that had stuck round with them for years. For everybody in his life. And for taking care of Dean. He apologized to Cas because he was sure Dean was still up to his old tricks. 

Sam somehow just knew Cas and Dean were finally together, he longed to see them all, but he didn't long to leave yet. He knew his time would come and he couldn't be happier if that day was a long time away. 

He placed Bobby on his lap and an arm around Eileen and smiled as she gave him a kiss. He was happy just like this. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter didnt make anyone cry (anymore) and if it did, then I deeply apologize. Next and final chapter will hopefully be up tomorrow. Thank you once again! -k ♡


	4. Second Ending //part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reliving his worst memories and regrets is never ending but to Castiel's surprise it does end for him. 
> 
> Tags:   
> -Major character death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm deeply sorry about the extremely late posting (as many of you know the week before break is usually super busy, I was swamped with work and wasn't able to revise the chapter like I usually do) and finally I was able to revise and post, so here is Castiel's 3 day late chapter!! Thank you for being patient with me, ,

**CASTIEL**

Castiel never thought he'd wake up again. He was sure that once the empty took him away, that would be it for him. He never expected to see his family again.

When his son had come to get him he was reliving one of his worst moments. He was standing in a ring of burning fire. The heat felt all to real. Dean stood a few feet away from him. 

Castiel could never forget the hurt look on Dean's face when he discovered he'd been working with the enemy. He never forgave himself for hurting Dean. The one human he’d bowed to protect. The only reason he’d even taken that deal was because of Dean. 

Dean had fought for so much and lost so much that he didn’t deserve to lose more. He was finally happy, living his life with Lisa and Ben, that Castiel didn't want to come to him and bring him more problems. Seeing him so happy with them hurt Castiel because Dean and moved on, he wasn't waiting for him to show up, he didn't seek him out, so he decided it was best to stay away. He had to deal with Rapahel on his own and make sure he didn’t destroy the world Dean had already given up so much for. 

And when Dean told him he would have helped him because he was there, ready to listen, to help, Castiel hated himself. He should have known Dean would always help him, he was his _friend_ after all. 

It was the reason he had told Dean to leave him so long ago, and even then he could see the hesitation in him. But he had left him anyway and Castiel allowed him too. 

He waited for the scene to change. He’d gone through it hundreds times already and he had memorized the order. And everytime he re-lived these moments a part of him shattered into nothing. He was already broken enough as it was. 

Castiel didn't know how long he had been re-living the same moments but it didn’t matter because he knew it would never end. He waited in silence, in nothing, for the next memory but it didn’t come. Instead he was reminded of Dean, of his confession. 

Dean's face and his eyes full of tears were all he could see in his head. He had poured his heart out to Dean, and told him everything he had always wanted to say to him. Everything he said he believed because it was the truth. 

Dean _was_ good, he was pure and all he did was care. All he did was love. 

That was the reason Castel had fallen for this righteous man. When he had first seen his soul in hell, tortured and broken Castiel knew there was something different about him. He healed his soul just enough for him to survive and he let Dean do the rest all on his own. Dean's soul had been tormented and yet he was able to heal himself, and became one of the most beautiful people Castiel had ever seen. 

He fell in love with Dean because he knew who he truly was under all that pain. Under all that anger and hatred.

It started as soon as he’d seen him skinned from his body. And it only grew throughout the years. Their bond became deeper with every obstacle they faced and with every hardship they endured. It started as a friendship and over the years of growing closer it had grown into love. He was supposed to protect Dean, to keep him safe and Castiel managed to do more. He saved him so many times and gave up everything for him because he loved him. 

He didn't know what it was called when he began feeling it, but all that time he spent around Dean and Sam helped him understand. They taught him about human emotions even if the two brothers didn’t show much of one. And the time he spent as a human helped him to grasp the feeling that was known as _love._

He had been alive for eons. He had seen humans born into life and die. He had seen hundreds of humans and yet he never felt anything like he did towards Dean. He was special. 

When Castiel found out Chuck had been manipulating them, controlling them, he was furious. He questioned whether or not what he felt for Dean was real. And deep down he knew it _was_ real.

_Nothing,_ not even Chuck could make him feel what he felt. He knew Chuck didn’t have enough power to create the feeling he felt for this human. For a broken man who never thought he was worth anything. He tried to tell Dean, to tell him they were real. But Dean didn't understand what he meant. He was blinded by rage to comprehend what he was saying. 

Castiel thought, he hoped Dean felt the same thing he felt for him, but it was pointless. He knew better, Dean could never love him. He was an angel, they weren't even the same species. Angels weren’t even supposed to have emotions, especially not ones like love. 

They were made to be soldiers, thoughtless, emotionless, and yet somehow he wasn’t. Dean always called him a  _brother_ , _family_ and all those times Castiel hoped he didn't mean it. That Dean thought of him as more than just a brother or a friend. But he didn't. 

Dean walked away when he tried to tell him. And that hurt him, but it didn't hurt as much as when he told him was a mistake, that he was always messing everything up. When he let him walk away. 

And while he was away he began to accept that maybe something just weren’t meant to be. He began to accept that Dean would never look at him the way he did to him. Dean meant the world to him and every time he looked at him it was with so much affection. He was afraid of rejection, of being hurt way more than he’d ever been. He was new to feeling and he didn’t need anymore pain. 

He avoided Dean as much as he could when he came back. He wouldn't look at Dean in fear of seeing anger in eyes when he looked at him. He didn't need that, it already hurt too much that the only thing Castiel saw in Dean’s eyes when he stared at him was anger when he said he was dead to him. 

But when Dean apologized it sparked even more love towards him. Castiel didn't need a heart to know he had fallen for Dean even more. And even though Dean hurt him many times throughout the years every time Dean apologized it fixed Castiel’s wounds and made him long for him more. 

He was sitting on the ground by a tree when Dean had started praying to him. When he told him he was sorry for not apologizing sooner, for letting him go and opening up to him, Castiel felt miserable. It made him so happy that Dean was apologizing that he was admitting how horribly he'd treated him but it also hurt. He had just fought some leviathans and what he was feeling at that very moment as he heard Dean’s voice break scared him more. 

He knew he couldn’t have him in the way he wanted him and it made him fearful of being around him that pretending to be just friends was all he wanted to be. So when he saw Dean he reached for him and he hugged him tight. And in that hug he began to push away his feelings. 

It was why he didn't let Dean speak anymore. Castiel was afraid that he might say or do something to push Dean away. And that was the last thing he wanted to do. 

All the time that they were dealing with Chuck he was dealing with things of his own. He was burring everything he had ever felt towards Dean. Pushing it down so it would hurt him anymore so he could be content with just being _friends_. 

He had managed to forget about them, as much as he could but that was until they found out about Billie. When they went to confront her, to stop her from messing up everything they had worked for, the feelings resurfaced. He was terrified of Dean dying that he couldn't hold them back. He held onto him for dear life and dragged him away from her. 

He was frantic, he was afraid and again he was willing to give it all up for him. It was how he knew what to do. He brought the feelings up, all of them and let them take control. He had to be honest because that was the only time Castiel knew he would be happy. 

He told Dean how much he had changed him and he told him how much he was worth. He needed to tell Dean the truth about himself, he needed him to know that everything he’d ever felt and thought about himself wasn’t true. He _h_ _ad t_ o tell him he loved him, it was the only thing he’d ever felt for _anyone_ in this way. Dean Winchester was the only one he’d _ever_ love, and he needed him to know. 

Castiel was afraid Dean was going to say something in the few seconds they had left. But he didn’t. Through the tears in his eyes he couldn’t tell what Dean was thinking, his face was expressionless with only the rational tears in his eyes. 

He tried and tried to feel nothing but happiness. He knew if he thought of anything but that feeling he felt when he said _I_ _love you_ his plan would fail. Billie would barge through the door and kill them both, so he smiled. 

And after the empty took him he felt alone. 

He felt heartbroken, he’d left Dean, and he didn't know what he’d say. He wanted more than anything to hear what Dean would say. Castiel just wanted to hear from him if he still loved him, even if it wasn't in the way he had always wanted. Or if he was disgusted by him, and never wanted to see him again. And now he’d never get the chance to find out, or at least that was what he had thought. 

There were tears in Castiel’s eyes, he was surrounded by darkness, by nothing, and it made him feel even worse. When he thought that maybe this was going to be his punishment now, with nothing but his sorrow to surround him he was greeted with a painful white light. 

When his eyes had adjusted he recognized the smiling face. He was hesitant to run and hug his son. He was afraid that it was just a trick, that his own head was playing a cruel joke on him or that it was the Empty. He was already hurting and he didn't need false joy. But then he saw someone else behind him. It was Amara, she had the warmest smile on her face that it made him want to sobb. 

This was how he knew it wasn't a cruel joke. He ran to his son's side and pulled him into a tight hug. Jack laughed and held him just as tight. He could feel him cry.

“Welcome back, Dad.” Jack said with teary eyes and a huge smile.

“But how?” Castiel asked. Jack turned to look at Amara and she smiled. 

“Jack has become the new God. Well, co-god I'm helping him.” 

Castiel felt overwhelmed. They were the new God? How had they won? About Dean, and Sam? How long had he been gone? 

“And Chuck is he dead?” he asked first. 

“Jack consumed all his power and left him powerless, he’s a mear human now, he can't hurt anyone anymore.” Amara said with a nod of reassurance. 

Castiel nodded, “What about-” 

“Sam and Dean?” Jack asked. “They’re alive.” 

Cas nodded. He felt ease creep up his stomach. 

“Come,” Amara said, reaching out a hand, “we have much to talk about.” 

Castiel followed. They walked out of the white room they were in into a garden. It was huge, bigger than anything Castiel remembered in heaven. There was a cascade a few feet away with a river that went for miles. Trees and flowers grew all around them. In the center was a table, where two people sat. 

“Much has changed since you were last here. Jack and I, we decided we needed to go a _different_ route than my brother. We have combined heaven and made it a place of freedom. Everyone is free to roam around. We no longer have everyone cooped up in a room locked away for the rest of eternity. The souls are allowed to go wherever they please.” she paused, “Except for Earth.” Amara stopped walking to turn to face him. 

Castiel looked at his son, he had a look of sadness in his eyes. 

“It pains me to have to say this seeing as how many of the people in your lives, lead the life they do. But no one can be resurrected anymore. No one is allowed to come back after they have died. It is only right that we lead the world in a different direction than before.” Amara said. 

Jack gave Castiel a look of sincerity. “We made this decision, for the good of everyone. The world before was messed up. We know it was Chuck, he wrote it like that but we don't want that anymore. The world has to work on its own, without anyone interfering. We have chosen to start with the natural order. It was broken too many times and now he have to fix it. It has to be done in order for a better future.”

Castiel nodded. He knew what he meant, Sam and Dean had broken it more than anyone, they all had. He didn’t want to think about a time when that rule would stand in the way. Instead he gave them a half hearted smile. And he asked, “Then why bring me back?" 

Amara smiled, “Because Castiel, you have given everything. You were and _are_ willing to give up your own life for the ones you love. And that to me is something special. Besides Jack never got to say goodbye and now he doesn’t have too.” 

Cas could feel her eyes linger on him after she said the ones you love, and he had a feeling she knew what she was talking about. 

Jack beamed, “I didn’t think it was fair that you left, and there’s something I feel you have to do.” 

Castiel tilted his head to the side, “What do you mean?” he could feel something bubbling within him. 

“Well, about Sam and Dean. Don’t you want to go back to them?” 

He was silent. He wasn’t sure anymore. At first all he wanted was to go back, to leave the Empty and have another chance. Because he wanted Dean most of all, he wanted him to accept him or at least find out whether or not he wanted him. 

He asked a question that he’d been wondering for a while, “How long has it been since I was taken?” 

“A month.” Jack answered. 

A month. He couldn’t believe it, it had felt longer. He thought maybe by now Dean had forgotten about him. But it had only been a month, he could go back, he could ask him if he could stay with him and Sam. Amara was God now, so was Jack, they’d probably stay in heaven and work on the world. He could go down to Earth and try to live down there, and if it didn't work out, with Dean then he could come back. He could spend the rest of his days in heaven wandering around or helping. 

But would Dean be okay? He wanted more than anything to see him. To hold him one last time if he was allowed. He could watch over him from heaven, but it wouldn’t be the same as being down on Earth with him. There he could protect him, now that no one was allowed to come back he could prevent him from dying on hunt or anything that wasn’t a natural cause of death. 

He could’ve moved on. Castiel didn’t think he could take seeing him with someone else again. It was hard to watch him sleep around with any woman he could find, or start a family like he had. And watching him fall in love with someone who was possibly helping him cope with his death would be harder. He wouldn’t be able to be angry at that person because they were trying to help him overcome something he had caused. 

Dean could push him away, he could tell him he was disgusted by him and never want to see him again, Dean could be hurtful when he was angry and grieving. He didn’t know if he could take the pain that Dean’s words could cause if he didn’t want him. 

Jack placed a hand on his shoulder, “He’s been praying for you. Every night for the past month all he’s done is ask for you back. Sam too.” Cas’s eyes widened, he could feel the corners of his eyes begin to water. 

He continued, “I was in the Empty, begging for it to let you go and I couldn't answer his prayers. It was even harder to get you back because of the eruption I had caused. It woke many demons and angels and I said I’d put them all back to sleep if it let you go. I assured the Empty that _n_ _o one_ would ever wake up again but nothing worked. And even though it didn’t take the deal I still put them back to sleep, I was the one who woke them after all. But I guess after it realized I was being truthful, I was allowed to wake you.” 

A tear rolled down Castiel’s cheek, Dean wanted him back. He was praying to Jack to give him back. He smiled. Dean wanted him, maybe not in the way Castiel wanted him but maybe, it would be fine. If all he could have was friendship he would take it, it was better than never seeing him again. Castiel could feel what humans called butterflies in his stomach. 

“And you’d be okay if I went?” he asked them both. 

He couldn't just leave Jack all alone. Even if he was co-God now, he was still so small. He hadn't gotten a chance to get used to the real word. He was his son, and it wasn't right to leave him. 

“I don't see why not.” Jack answered, “I’ll be here when you come back. I don't think I’m going anywhere. And I wont be completely alone, Amara is here." He said as if reading his mind. 

Amara nodded with a smile, “As long as you remember the rules Castiel I don’t think there would be anything wrong with your return to Earth. And I'll make sure he doesn't cause any trouble." 

It eased him a bit to know Jack wouldn't be all alone. He was going to miss his son if he left him and he still couldn't make up his mind, then he thought of something.

He sighed, “I want to see them if I can, just so I know what’s going on.” he asked Amara. 

She waved her hand and a small ball of mist appeared. He looked through and saw them. They were parked outside in a big field. He saw them get out of the car and run up to a wandering figure a few feet away. 

He watched as Sam injected something red- blood into the figure. Instantly he knew what it was, they put the vampire in the trunk and drove away. When they reached an area vegetated by trees they tied up the monster against a tree trunk. 

He turned to look at Amara and Jack. They both stared with amazement as Dean made cut after cut. They listened to the vampire tell Dean how many of them there were. 

Something bothered him when he saw the look the monster gave him, it was there for a second but Castiel saw it before the monster covered it up with fear. He wanted to shout at Dean but it was pointless he couldn’t hear him. 

Dean chopped the head off and he and Sam walked back towards Baby. The feeling wouldn’t go away. He watched Sam and Dean head around the barn to the side door. He watched them walk through the darkness, he was feeling worse by the minute all he wanted to do was yell at them to get out. 

Something caught his eye in the loft above them. He squinted and realized there were _many_ things moving around in the shadows. His eyes widened and a very cold chill ran up his back.

Amara ran her hand through the mist and they disappeared. 

“No. Please, I need to know.” Castiel pleaded. 

She shook her head, “We shouldn’t watch.” She paced around for a few steps. Her eyebrows furrowed. 

Jack’s eyes had become glossy and he looked terrified. 

“What is it?” he asked. 

‘I-” he cleared his throat, “I’m not sure.” 

“Don’t lie Jack. I can always tell when you lie. Tell me, please.” He took Jack's hands and held them close. Jack looked down, it was clear he didn’t want to answer. 

“Amara.” he said. 

“We shouldn’t talk about this. It is clear we have things to prepare for.”

Castiel shook his head frantically, “It’s a trap isn’t it, they’re walking into a trap.” She didn’t answer, “You can’t let them die. It's not fair, they just stopped God himself, you have to give them another chance. You have to stop this.” 

“No, I can’t. _We_ can’t, not anymore. I will not break the rules that I have just established. This was the whole reason we decided on this. This has to stop, no more coming back, no more interfering. We agreed.” 

She wasn’t talking to him, she was talking to Jack. She was making it clear that he couldn’t break the rules no matter who was involved. She was _begging_ him not to break them. 

“Then let me” Castiel blurted out. “If you two can’t, then I will. Just please don't let them die.” Tears were rolling down his face now. He couldn’t let them die just when they had saved the world. He had to try and stop it.

“No Castiel. I know how bad you want to, I know, but if we let you then everyone will be allowed to. Everyone will just keep getting saved and the world will fall apart again.” 

“It won’t. I promise. Please, I came back because you didn't get a chance to say goodbye. He didn't either, I can’t let him die. Please just let me save _him_.” 

He hadn’t realized what he had said, but it didn't matter all that did was that they let him go. He gave his life for him to survive, to live and if he didn’t at least try to save him again, to give him another chance at life it would destroy him. 

“He can kill them all. He can kill a whole lineage of vampires so that they never return. He won't go there to save them. He’ll go there to exterminate monsters.” Jack said with hope in his voice. He was trying his best not to cry. 

Amara was silent. She studied them both. Castiel couldn’t keep still, tears poured out of his eyes. The longer they stood there doing nothing the greater the chance would be that they died. It felt like an eternity before she spoke again. 

“You _cannot_ bring them back. If they are to die then they will die and they will stay dead. If you break this rule Castiel, I will send you back. Not because I want to but because I _have_ too. They won't be allowed into heaven, they will be damned to roam the earth for all eternity. We have made a pact that we can not break. Remember this Castiel if you are tempted.” 

He nodded with his whole being. Amara was expressionless as she waved her hand. In a second he was in the dark barn. 

All he heard were his screams. He wanted to run to him to pull every vampire off of him. But he heard cries. _Sam,_ he was still alive. Before any of them could rip through him he shouted, “Shut your eyes!” 

In a flash they were all gone. All he heard was silence. He looked down at Dean, and if Castiel had a physical heart he was sure it would have broken. Tears streamed down his face as he looked down at Dean’s lifeless body. In all the hundreds of times Dean had died, not once had Castiel seen his body. He heard Sam crawl towards his brother's body. He shouted Dean's name and it made Castiel flinch, he watched Sam shake him.

When he shown his white light to kill all the vampires it had healed Dean. He was eternally grateful for it. Neither of them would ever be able to forget, and Sam would be traumatized forever. 

Sam begged him to bring Dean back. Every part of him wanted to, he ached to wake him. To give him back to Sam, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t sure if he even could, afterall his powers had been getting weaker. It was a surprise to him that he was even able to wipe out every vampire around him. 

And then there was Amara, who's warning rang in his head. He would be willing to go back if it meant he could bring Dean back, but then Dean wouldn’t be able to rest after he died. He would become a wandering spirit, all alone forever. And Castiel couldn't do that to him. 

The words pained him as he told Sam he couldn’t. Seeing Sam so broken made him feel worse. There was nothing he could do, except to tell him he’d take care of Dean for him. He would watch over him in heaven just as he had been tasked to do long ago. And he told him they would meet again. It was all he could do to make Sam feel even remotely better. 

Sam didn't speak for a while before nodding. Castiel knew how much it hurt to say goodbye. It was more painful than anything he’d ever experienced. He knelt down after Sam had said goodbye. 

Castiel reached for Dean’s face instinctively. He wasn’t thinking when he did. And by the time his face was resting on Dean's jaw he only hoped Sam wouldn’t say something. He didn’t and he was grateful. 

Castiel wasn’t sure if he could even take Dean to heaven. But he closed his eyes and they were both engulfed in a ball of warm white light. 

When he opened his eyes he was in pitch black darkness. Fear overcame him, for a second he thought he was back in the Empty. But as his eyes adjusted he realized he was in a barn. He turned around frantically looking for Dean. 

Did he manage to get back to heaven without him? All he found were symbols all over the walls and ceiling. 

His eyes widend when he remembered where he was. It was the barn in which he and Dean had met. He turned around and saw himself walk into the barn. He stepped back. 

He watched as Dean stabbed him in the heart. It brought a small smile to his face. He could see how afraid Dean was and how anxious he was to know what he was. He was watching himself flipp through the pages of a journal. Dean seemed so afraid, when he showed him his wings. 

They stood close to each other, if only his older self knew he would fall for the human standing before him. He had already felt something stir within himself from the minute he raised him and put him back in this body. 

Then everything went balck again. He turned, Amara was standing there. 

“I’m grateful that you didn't try anything.” 

“Yes, well I wanted to.” Castiel said, his voice faltering. 

“Still, you proved you could handle it, I was afraid you wouldn't." she paused, "You have to believe me when I say I wish you could have.” She said looking around the room in amazement. 

Castiel nodded, “I do. I know all you want is to make the world better and let everyone lead themselves without anyone interfering.” 

She smiled, “So this is it. Where you two met.” 

Castiel face heated, “Yes.” 

“You know, that attraction between me and Dean wasn’t real. It was just written that way. He never really felt anything for me. He was _made_ to, and even then I could tell where his heart truly lay.” She gave him a sincere look. 

Castiel wanted to cry. And he had no idea why. Maybe it was because he really had thought Dean was in love with her. But here she was telling him it wasn’t real. Maybe it reminded him of himself, of how sure _he_ was that what he felt _was_ real. 

“I think he was just afraid. I tend to attract powerful feelings of despair. Anger, fear, and the one that always surprises, _love._ Love can make anyone desperate and fearful. I won't deny, I am quite fond of him, but not in the way you think. I believe it's because I’m grateful he freed me, even if it wasn’t intentional.” she said with a smile. 

“Why are you telling me this now?” Castiel asked. 

“I think you know. And it’s like I said I attract powerful emotions. You feel more than any angel I have ever met. You have this, _longing,_ it is very powerful.” 

Castiel's eyes stung, she knew. “How?” 

“Because you radiate it. I know how much you love him Castiel. And he loves you very much too.” 

“Not in the way I love him. I have always been family, a friend and nothing more.” His lips trembled, he didn’t know why he was crying. He had cried about never being more than a friend for Dean before. This was what he didn’t understand about human emotions, they seemed to linger even after you’ve put them to rest. 

“I wouldn’t be too sure.” She said with a soft smile. 

“What does that mean?” He asked. 

“Again, Castiel, I think you know and I have a feeling you’ll find out soon. But for now I must leave. Jack is calling for help and he is a little boy after all.” she stepped back, “Don’t worry about Jack, I’ll look after him. Just take care of yourself until we meet again.” and with that she was gone. 

He let out a cry, his head was spinning. What had she meant he already knew? And that he would find out soon? She had just said something so painful to him without meaning too. He held his head. It couldn’t be possible, a human to love a broken angel, that was- 

He heard tires on dirt. His stomach turned. He stood still and waited, was it him? He knew the answer before he even walked inside. 

And then he could see him there, standing right at the doorway, the moonlight hitting his body. Castiel ached to go to him. To hug him tight. How was he supposed to face him?

He hadn’t gotten there in time to save him. He had let him down, the only one good thing he managed to do was save Sam. Now Dean knew how he felt towards him. He knew how much Castiel loved him. He wanted to fly away, he wasn’t ready, how could he be?

“Cas?”

That made him flinch and a tear rolled down his cheek. Dean knew he was there, or maybe he was _hoping_ he was. He could hide and wait till he walked away. He didn't have to see him now. But he didn’t want to hurt him. 

Castiel could feel how much pain he was in and it was proven when he heard a second, “Cas”. 

It was more broken than the last. And it was enough for his legs to start moving without a second thought. Castiel could never leave Dean no matter how bad he was hurting too. He walked into the light.

He could see the relief in Deans face as soon as he was close enough to see his face. In a split second Dean ran to him. Their embrace was more powerful somehow, it felt different than all the other times they had hugged. It felt more complete. 

He hugged him back just as tight and pressed his face against Dean's shoulder. He could feel tears roll down his cheek, the comfort and joy Dean brought him was enough to make his knees weak. Dean laughed and it made him laugh too. 

He had a sudden urge to look Dean in the eyes and bring their lips together. It was all he’d ever wanted to do. But then Dean took him by surprise, and Castiel felt like he was going to leave his body behind, “I love you too.” 

He was frozen, he couldn't believe what Dean had said. After all the “buddies, and pals, brother and family” he said he _loved_ him. 

Dean cupped his face and stared straight into his eyes. They were greener than any forest Castiel had ever seen. 

He said, “I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not saying it sooner, I'm sorry for letting you go without telling you. I'm sorry I left you for so long. I prayed to Jack every night for you but he never answered. I couldn’t function without you, I can't be without you. I need you so, so much, you are everything to me. I’m so sorry I didn't tell you sooner. God, I love you so damn much Castiel.” 

He was speech less. He didn’t know what to say to the beautiful human he couldn't help but fall in love with. So instead he pulled him close. So close that they could feel each others breaths on their faces. And then finally so close they touched lips. 

They were softer than all the thousands of clouds he’d ever felt. He put everything he couldn’t say into their kiss. All the longing, all the sadness, all the love he felt for this man. 

They let go only to wrap themselves into another kiss, salty from their tears and sweet from Dean's taste. 

For years he watched them kiss other lips, lips that weren't his and it had hurt. But now he finally had him, Dean was finally _his_. Castiel could _finally_ taste the lips of the man he craved for an eternity. And he still couldn't believe he could have him. 

He was glad the Empty had come for him before and not now. Because now, _right_ _now_ with Dean's arms around him, holding him close as their lips crashed together was truly his happiest moment. 

  
He and Dean drove down the road. And while he told him about Sam and Jack and Amara and explained why he could bring him back, he held his hand. He made sure Dean knew he was there and was never going away, never again. 

Castiel smiled fondly as he watched the barn disappear in the distance, he turned to look at Dean and an even wider smile spread across his face. 

He and Dean drove down the open road. They drove until a building came up in the distance. Dean seemed to know what the place was from the expression on his face. He took Castiel's hand and together they walked through the door. 

Almost Instantly Dean was greeted by Charlie. Everyone Cas had ever known was inside. He saw Ellen and Jo, Bobby and Charlie. He felt so much joy it was unbelievable. He hadn’t seen them in so long, it made his eyes water at the sight of them. 

After the enormous hug Dean had gotten they all turned to look at him and he figured it was his turn to get bear hugged. 

Charlie was the first to hug him, she had a huge smile on her face. He didn’t realize how much he had missed his friend until he saw her. After all he never got to see her after she had died. He kept her close until finally she said “I can’t breathe Cas.” 

“Sorry.” he said with a smile. She put a hand on his shoulder and smiled, “It's alright, I just haven’t been hugged like that in a while.” 

Jo and Ellen came up next to hug him. They told him how much they had missed him. And how worried they had been the last time they saw each other. He realized it probably hadn’t been that long for them. It had been years since they had died but for them maybe it was a year or less. He hugged them both. 

After Bobby had come up to him for a hug he and Dean were taken to a table. They were handed beers and Dean told them everything that had happened. 

Castiel got a chance to meet two new family members. Ash and Miracle. He was confused about the white dog until Dean told him he had taken him home after they had beat Chuck. Dean took his hand and squeezed it. The look he gave him said “I'm sorry” and Castiel smiled, with one look he told him, “It's okay, I love you” 

Dean eased and a smile spread across his face. They turned to look back at their family, who were suddenly now staring at them. He had forgotten they were there for a second. 

Dean cleared his throat, “So-”

Charlie cut him off and she crossed her arms, “Since when?” 

“Uh, what?” 

“You know what we're talking about Dean Winchester, now answer.” Ellen chimed in. 

Jo had a huge smile on her face. Ash was the only one who looked confused. Bobby took a sip from his whiskey and raised a brow. 

“It hasn’t been that long, um, 10 minutes maybe?” Dean said, his cheeks were glowing. 

“Seriously?” she turned her attention to Castiel, “Dude, I would've given up on him a long time ago.” There was a playful smile on her face. 

“I don’t think I could ever give up on him.” he said. 

Dean grinned, “Well it’s a good thing he’s not like you” he said playfully. 

Despite the smug grin on Dean’s face Castiel could tell how much those words meant to him. He knew Dean’s fears. These words were true, no matter what happened Castiel would never be able to leave him. He'd watch over him even from afar if he ever had to because Dean Wincester was the man he would love forever. 

* * *

He and Dean found a house by the edge of the forest. It was small and cozy. Neither of them really slept because they didn’t need to. So on most nights he and Dean would sit outside on their porch and watch the stars with Miracle nestled between them. 

But on most days they spent time at the Roadhouse. Dean loved playing pool with Jo and Ash and Castiel found joy in talking with Charlie and Ellen. They were all his family now and he found it was important to fortify their relationship now that they were together. 

To Castiel's surprise Jody had showed up at the roadhouse one morning. It was hard to tell how many days passed by up in heaven. It seemed to only be a couple of days before Donna came along. 

Jack popped up around different times to check up on Castiel and update him on everything he had been doing. They were only brief moments, because he could only be away for so long. But Castiel treasured them.

They were all being extremely rousey one particular day. Castiel sat down and watched Dean, he was laughing so much he could hardly breath. And it made him beam. 

He looked around and his eyes fell on white fur. Castiel watched as Miracle poked his head out and then back in. He figured he was trying to get someone's attention. So he got up and walked towards him. Miracle wagged his tail and led him outside. By the time Castiel got outside Miracle was already a few feet away from the stairs. He saw him face out towards the road. 

He squinted and saw two figures standing in the middle, a smile played on his face. 

“Dean!” he called. He was worried he hadn’t heard him. He was about to shout again when he saw the door open. 

Dean came out of the Roadhouse, his face red from laughing. 

“Yeah?” he said with a smile. 

Cas smiled back, “They’re here.” 

He watched as Dean looked out into the distance, his eyebrows raised and tears formed in his eyes. He ran down the stairs and stopped. He turned around and stuck his hand out. “Come on Cas.” 

Castiel took Dean’s hand and together they chased after Miracle to greet Sam and Eileen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this ending till the end, I want to make something super clear in case of any misunderstanding, I didn't tittle this ending as a better ending because really no ending with any of the boys dying is okay, I was just trying to take Dean's death and change it, to try to make it less stupid and more believable. This was just my attempt at trying to make the ending not seem like a joke. It was why I didn't tittle it something like "An even BETTER ending" Dean was my first comfort character before Cas and I love him so much, I was working within the limit of just ep. 20, I HOPE this ending seemed more realistic. sorry again for any emotional trauma I may have caused. This is the only ending I will write in which Dean will die because he didn't deserve to die at all.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I was able to cheer you up, even if it was a tiny bit it's enough. This may not be the greatest ending but it's way better than what we all got. Much love
> 
> -k💛


End file.
